But I Didn't Know

But I didn’t know

I had no chance to be anything but his possession

His obsession

For his pleasure

His colonization

A daughter with many roles to fill

An obligation

But I didn’t know 

I didn’t know that fathers didn’t behave this way

I like to dream that my soul chose this life

That I made the decision 

That you didn’t steal it from me 

I walked into it

Knowing I had a mission to complete

But I didn’t know

I didn’t know this life wasn’t normal 

I thought every child knew of violence

Faced with danger so intimately

Knowing a wrong step could cause destruction 

The wrong word unleashed the darkness

Strategizing to survive

But I didn’t know

I didn’t know I was born into a battlefield

I thought this was how love is expressed

Through the rawness of one's body

Then throw away 

As if I needed to work for it

To earn it

But I didn’t know

I didn’t know he was a deviant

But I didn’t know

I didn’t know

Didn’t know

Know

Ha,

It all makes sense now

Fuck

FUUUUCK

Now, 

I know